Headline: Clark Kent's Shipping News

I'm awfully sorry, but due to the atomic explosion off our coast yesterday there has been no ship traffic in or outbound in the last twenty-four hours. According to the Port Authority, danger to passengers entering or leaving the Metropolitan port can now be dismissed as negligible. This is due to the fact that Superman apparently contained, or swallowed, the atomic energy released by the bomb. How he did that, Heaven only knows.

I would also like to apologize for having lost track of the Queen Elizabeth last Tuesday. I hope this doesn't mean I have to go back to basketball scores.

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